The Sewer
by Herbert Groover
Summary: Something deadly is lurking in the sewers beneath New York City - something not of this world. When two ambitious young plumbers are sent into the sewers to investigate a string of recent disappearances, they encounter some of the most fearsome creatures they've ever seen - and make a discovery that will change their lives forever. An loose adaptation of the Mario Bros arcade game.
1. The Man from the Mayor's Office

September, 1985

Brooklyn, NY

"Mario! Hey, Mario! You've gotta come see this!"

Waking suddenly, Mario turned in his bed and looked over at his alarm clock. _2:00 AM. _Now what could Luigi be up to at this hour?

Still tired and groggy, Mario hastily put on an old T-shirt and jeans and walked out into the living room of the apartment he shared with his brother. Luigi, still dressed in his work clothes, was standing in front of their television, a small, battered old set that they'd bought at a pawn shop down the street.

"Our commercial's on!" said Luigi excitedly. "They're actually showing it this time!"

Mario grunted. Doing an ad on a local TV station had been Luigi's idea – he'd thought it would be a "good way to drum up business" for their plumbing company. Mario had been considerably more skeptical, but after struggling to make ends meet for nearly four years, he'd figured any idea was better than nothing.

The TV screen showed a fuzzy image of the two brothers in matching red and green outfits – also Luigi's idea. They stood atop an oversized kitchen sink, each holding a wrench in one hand and a metal pipe in the other, and performed a variety of awkward dance movements as a shrill-voiced rapper intoned:

_Yo, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game! _

_We're not like the others who get all the fame!_

_If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double!_

_We're faster than the others, you'll get hooked on the brothers!_

The screen switched to a plain black background covered in miniscule white text, and a voice-over rapidly announced:

_Mario Brothers Plumbing Service of Brooklyn, New York. Licensed to repair drains, faucets, and piping of all kinds. No warranties provided; all risks assumed by the customer._

"You know," Mario groaned, "You really didn't need to wake me up for this."

"Come on, Mario!" said Luigi. "Show a little enthusiasm! This could really help to get our business off the ground! And it's about time, too."

Mario shook his head. "If that piece of garbage convinces anyone, they've got bigger problems than a leaky faucet. And what the hell is 'hooked on the brothers' supposed to mean, anyway? It makes us sound like an escort service."

"Oh, shut up. I liked the rap. It's catchy and modern. It'll bring in younger customers looking for a plumbing service that's relevant to their experiences."

"And I'm sure they'll all be very eager to have you clean out their pipes."

"Aw, Mario…."

Luigi turned towards the kitchen as Mario chuckled to himself. "I'm heading back to bed," he announced. "See you tomorrow, bro."

"Yep."

Mario returned to his bedroom and shut the door. _Is this my life?_ he thought as he sat down on the bed. _Dancing around like a moron in crappy commercials, fixing people's drainpipes for a living – has it really come to this?_

Not too long ago, things had been so much different. Up until about four years ago, he'd been living in Manhattan, working on a construction site. He had a nice apartment all to himself, a steady job, a beautiful girlfriend… and then, in 1981, everything had changed. Mario shuddered to think of how everything had been snatched away from him, all in the course of one day, forcing him to move back home to Brooklyn. That day… that incident… that name….

_Pauline…._

He'd had to switch jobs, and join up with Luigi's plumbing business – and to be fair, it was a decent living. But he couldn't stand the work – at the end of the day, he just wasn't cut out to be a plumber.

Now Luigi, on the other hand – there was someone who loved his job. Younger than Mario by nearly seven years, he was clearly the more ambitious of the two brothers – he'd landed an apprenticeship with the city's largest plumbing corporation before he'd even finished high school, and he'd been thinking of starting up his own business even before Mario had moved back home. Now twenty-eight years old and running a business that could barely keep afloat, Luigi's enthusiasm had never dampened, in spite of all obstacles. _But it will,_ Mario thought to himself. _Someday he'll see the truth – he'll realize that the world just isn't ours for the taking._

Mario closed his eyes and lay down on the bed. _Yes, this is it,_ he thought. _This really is my life._

* * *

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

Mario awoke suddenly, startled by the knocking at the door. He looked again at his alarm clock – _2:38 AM. _"Damn," he muttered to himself. "I just can't get any sleep tonight."

He slowly ambled out to the door of the apartment, where he saw Luigi speaking with their unexpected guest. The visitor, a small, bespectacled man in a black overcoat, immediately turned and extended his hand toward Mario.

"Good evening, sir," he said in a clipped tone as Mario shook his hand. "I take it you're the Mario in Mario Brothers Plumbing?"

"Yeah," Mario replied. "That's me. And who are you, exactly?"

"My name is Davis," said the visitor. "I'm from the mayor's office. As I was just explaining to your brother, I have a… small matter to discuss with the two of you."

"And why the hell do we have to discuss it now?" Mario snapped. "It's two in the morning, and I'm trying to get some sleep!"

"Sir, when you hear what I have to say, you'll be glad I came here when I did – for all our sakes, we can't have any witnesses listening in on our discussion."

"Alright then. What's this big, important thing that can't wait until this afternoon?"

"Well, gentlemen," said Davis, "we believe there may be a major problem with our city's sewer systems. And we'd like you two to check it out."

Luigi leaned against the wall, looking pensive. "What sort of problem are we talking about, exactly?"

Davis cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "Two weeks ago," he began, "we sent three of our sanitation workers down on a routine inspection job – checking the sewage levels, making sure the pipes were in good condition, you get the idea. But here's the thing: those guys never came back."

The room fell silent. Davis paused, looking back and forth at the two brothers, whose expressions had grown troubled. "Naturally," he resumed, "we assumed that there must have been some sort of accident. So we sent a search party down to investigate. That was about ten days ago, and they still haven't come back either."

"So what's the deal, then?" Mario asked. "What the hell's going on down there?"

"We don't know," Davis replied. "But lately, there have been a lot of rumours going around the city – people saying they've been hearing strange noises coming from underground. And yeah, I know, in a city like this you're bound to get a handful of oddballs saying they hear psychic aliens talking to them through the eighth dimension, but this is different – the stories are coming from all over the city, and they're all consistent with each other.

"I think it's fairly clear what this implies. There's something down there in the sewers – something that shouldn't be there. Something dangerous. Maybe even something… not of this world."

"Now, wait a minute here," Luigi interjected. "Are you seriously suggesting –"

"I'm not suggesting anything, exactly. But we need someone to go to the sewers and just… check things out, so to speak. See exactly what's down there, so we can assess the situation and determine an appropriate course of action."

"So… why can't you just send more of your sanitation workers?"

Davis shook his head. "We've already tried that, and it hasn't exactly worked out well. If any more of the city's workers go missing, people will start asking very uncomfortable questions. You see, we don't want there to be too much publicity about this – at least, not until we're sure of what's down there. Mustn't send the people into a panic, you know."

Mario was growing increasingly annoyed with the stranger's explanations. "So let me get this straight – you want us to go down into the sewers, and check out whatever weird monsters are down there, and maybe get ourselves killed – just so you don't attract any negative publicity?"

"Oh no," said Davis hastily. "It's not like that at all. We just feel that it's in everyone's best interests to keep a low profile on this issue, and that this valuable service to the city could best be provided by someone like yourselves. And besides, just think of the publicity you'll get once we do go public with the story. I can see the headlines now – 'Local Plumbers Save the City From Underground Menace'! Why, in terms of business, it just might give you the boost that you need to make it big-time! And of course, the city will compensate you quite handsomely for your efforts. So what do you say? Will you do it?"

Luigi squinted and stroked his moustache. "Well," he said, "I don't know – it does sound pretty dangerous. But if all that was true – what you said about the publicity, I mean… then I can't really pass up the opportunity." He turned toward Mario with a wary look in his eye. "What do you think, Mario? Are you in, or out?"

For a moment, Mario wasn't sure what to say. Clearly there was something strange going on, and if he took the job, there was a very real chance that he wouldn't come back alive. But if he and Luigi were successful, it could lead to a much better future for both of them. Was it worth the risk? Should he risk his life, in service to his city, for the chance at success and prosperity that he'd been waiting for all these years?

"Sure, what the hell," Mario replied. "I'll do it."


	2. Trouble in the Sewers

_Captain's Journal – Unit K37-B, Tenth squadron, Fourth division of the Koopa Troop_

_Date: 13-20, 1077 KB_

_Roughly three weeks ago, our unit was ambushed by a group of Mushroom soldiers while out on maneuvers. Though I still believe that we will always defeat the Toads in a fair battle, their numbers were vastly superior to ours, and my men were startled and lost their nerve. Outnumbered and caught in a panic, we broke formation and fled to a nearby wood, where we discovered a previously undocumented warp pipe. Faced with the two unpleasant prospects of certain death at the hands of the Toads, or an uncertain fate at an unknown destination, we chose the latter option and escaped down the pipe. I take full responsibility for this decision._

_To be perfectly honest, I have no idea where we've ended up. As far as I can tell, the warp pipe transported us to some kind of underground dungeon or catacombs. There is very little light here, so I can describe our surroundings only with difficulty, but it seems to be a long tunnel, with curved walls made out of cold stone or metal. We are submerged nearly up to our waists in some kind of thick sludge, and the air is filled with vile, noxious fumes. Several of my men have already passed out from the foul odour, and we were, regretfully, forced to leave them behind. This was a painful decision, and one which I do not make lightly. But this is, after all, a time of war, and such sacrifices must be made if we Koopas are to win our freedom._

_For two weeks now, we've been wandering through this dark and putrid chamber, with no way home in sight. Our group has been fragmented, and I now lead only a small band of brave, yet weary soldiers. Most of our rations have been contaminated by the toxic water that flows through the tunnel, and it is beginning to seem as if none of us will ever return home – this foul dungeon may prove to be our final resting place. If that is the case, then let it be known that I have no regrets, for there is no better way to die than in the service of one's people, and one's king. I firmly believe that the Koopas will emerge victorious from this war, and I take heart in the knowledge that my children will live to see a world where it is our people, rather than the vile Toads, who rule the kingdom. If my part in the great history of our people is to die here, then I am resolved to face my fate with all the grace and dignity that is expected of a Koopa soldier._

_Death to the Mushroom Kingdom! Long live King Bowser! And long live the Koopas! _

* * *

In caps and gloves, overalls and work boots, the Mario Brothers trudged through the sewer tunnels beneath New York. Scanning the area with flashlights, they cautiously searched for any sign of the mysterious presence that Davis had described. As the hours wore on, it seemed that their search would ultimately prove fruitless.

"You know," said Mario after some time, "I don't know about you, but I can't stand the smell down here. Remind me again why we're wading through sewage this early in the morning, looking for ghosts or aliens or whatever?"

"Much as I hate to admit it" Luigi replied, "I think you may have a point. I'm starting to think that guy might've just been pulling our leg. What do you say we keep on looking for another few minutes, and then head back up?"

"Yeah, alright."

So they wandered on, deeper into the dark tunnels, farther and farther from where they'd entered in. Mario felt the filthy water slosh into his boots as he walked, and found himself wondering how much longer Luigi would insist on keeping up this insane wild goose chase.

"Yowch! Help, Mario!"

Hearing his brother's panicked voice, Mario turned around and saw a small, red creature biting into his brother's neck. So the strange man had been right – there really were monsters in the sewers! Mario felt a cold sweat come over him as his brother struggled with the beast.

Luigi grabbed at his throat, trying to dislodge the monster, but it held firm, digging its claws into his flesh. Losing his balance, he slipped and fell over backwards, briefly submerging his head in the sewage. With a great effort, Luigi yanked the creature off of him and tossed it forcefully into the wall, cracking its hard, orange shell in the process.

Unfortunately, it seemed that this only angered the beast further. Flipping itself over with a thrust of its hind legs, the creature charged toward Mario at high speed, waving its large claws in the air. Thinking quickly, Mario brought his heavy boot down upon the creature's head, killing it instantly.

After taking a moment to catch his breath, Mario grabbed the dead creature by one leg and held it up. Immediately he realized that his fears of the unknown monstrosity had been somewhat overblown.

"It's a crab!" he shouted, chuckling a little. "Just a puny little crab."

"Okay…" said Luigi, still trying to catch his breath. "So I just got attacked by… a crab."

Mario tossed the dead crab aside and walked over to where his brother was sitting. "Are you alright? Is it bleeding, or anything?"

"Uh… maybe a little. But I don't think it's anything serious – just a scratch, really. I'll just put some disinfectant on it when we get home."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Speaking of which…."

Luigi nodded. "Yep. I'd say it's time to head back. Looks like there's nothing much down here."

The brothers turned around, ready to head home and convinced that their expedition had been futile. Slowly and with heavy hearts, they began to plod back along the straight path they'd been taking.

_Oh well,_ Mario thought._ Another day wasted. _He shook his head, feeling like something of a fool. He should have realized right away that the stranger's claims were absurd. There couldn't possibly be monsters living in the sewers beneath New York… could there? Far off in the distance, Mario thought he could see a strange, shadowy figure, slowly approaching them. But what could it be? Had Davis sent anyone else down to investigate the monsters? Or could it be… one of them?

No. Of course not. The shape faded out of Mario's vision almost as soon as it had appeared – just a hallucination caused by his exhaustion and the cold of the night.

For what seemed like an hour they stayed their course, walking on in silence save for the rushing of putrid water and the splashing of their boots. Tired from lack of sleep, and still somewhat agitated by the encounter with the crab, Mario felt as if the ambient sounds of the sewer would overwhelm his senses, and his mind was flooded with the rhythm of his and Luigi's steps. Splashing up, crashing through the water, up and down, the three of them marching in step….

_Three of them?_

Mario started, suddenly wide awake again. Nervously, he looked from side to side, scanning the narrow corridor ahead of him – empty. But still, he couldn't shake the feeling that someone – or something – was following them. He looked over at Luigi, and could see by the look on his brother's face that he felt the same apprehension.

"Luigi?" he whispered. "Is there… something behind us?"

"I don't know," his brother replied. "But if there is…."

"Yeah. It could be dangerous. Let's just… get a little ways ahead, and then both turn around. Very slowly."

Luigi nodded, and the brothers picked up their pace slightly, hoping to put some distance between themselves and their pursuers. Having covered a small stretch of ground, they stopped, each placed one hand on the wall of the tunnel, and pivoted until the unknown entity became visible.

It was then that they saw it for the first time – the monster of the New York City sewers. Luigi gave a small yelp and jumped backward. Mario just stood there, examining the creature.

Despite the brothers' apprehensions, it was a far cry from the fearsome beast they'd been expecting. Its form was essentially that of a very large turtle, though it walked on two legs and seemed to be wearing some sort of helmet. Its skin was rough and yellow, and its torso was enclosed in a dull green shell. It was far larger than any turtle the brothers had ever seen, standing at about half of Mario's height.

The turtle gave a small cry as the brothers turned around, and began charging toward them at a surprising speed. Mario quickly stepped backward, not quite sure what to make of the creature, but certainly not wanting to get too close to it.

"Hey Luigi?" he shouted down the tunnel. "I think this is the monster the guy was talking about!"

"Yeah, I guess it is!" Luigi replied, jumping a little to the side. "At least, I know I've never seen a turtle walking on two legs before! So now what do we do?"

"Well… maybe we could try to take it with us?"

"What?!"

"Well, think about it! That guy wanted to know what was living in the sewers. So why not actually bring it to him in person?" Mario paused, warily eyeing the creature, studying its movements. "I mean… it doesn't look _too _dangerous…."

"You go for it then," Luigi said hastily, taking another step backward. "I'm, uh, I'm just gonna turn right around and keep going on back to the surface. So good luck with that!"

Luigi turned around and ran surprisingly quickly down the tunnel, leaving Mario to deal with the creature on his own. _Alright then,_ he thought. _I guess this is up to me._

By this point, the creature seemed to have lost interest in the Mario, and was slowly walking down the tunnel in same direction as Luigi. Deciding that this was as good an opportunity as any, Mario snuck up behind it and grabbed ahold of its shell, hoisting it above his head. The creature's arms and legs began to flail wildly, and it made a strange squealing noise as it struggled.

"I got it! I got it!" he shouted to Luigi, who had turned a corner and disappeared from view. Tucking the creature under his arm, Mario set off down the tunnel after his brother.

The monster, however, appeared to have other ideas. As soon as he started moving, Mario was stopped by a sharp pain in his side. He immediately released his hold on the creature and collapsed onto the ground, realizing that he'd been bitten. Looking down, he saw that his overalls had been ripped, and his side was bleeding slightly. _For a turtle, that thing had some pretty sharp teeth._

Deciding that it would be best not to aggravate the situation any further, Mario stood up and began to head back toward the entrance, brushing off the sewage that had gotten in his face. Unfortunately, it seemed that the creature wasn't willing to leave him alone. With a shrill yell, it leaped up behind him and dug its claws into his overalls, pulling him down to the ground. Mario struggled to keep his head above the water as the creature climbed up on top of him and began scratching at his neck with its claws. He gave a loud cry of pain and tried to knock the beast off of him, swinging wildly with his fists, but it was protected by its hard shell, and didn't budge an inch.

Pushing against the floor with his left arm, Mario flipped himself over onto his stomach, submerging the beast. With his right arm he reached underneath the monster and grabbed its soft stomach, and managed to push it down to the ground.

Free from the grip of his attacker, Mario quickly stood up and faced the monster. It had already recovered from its dislodgment, and was now charging him at full speed, eager for another go.

Thinking quickly, Mario gave a forceful kick just as the monster approached him, sending it flying backwards through the air. It landed on its shell a few feet down the tunnel, and began to wave its limbs furiously, trying to right itself and regain mobility. Seizing his opportunity, Mario rushed up to where the creature lay and jumped into the air, bringing all his weight down on its exposed underbelly. The monster's eyes bulged, and it gave an anguished cry; within moments it fell silent.

"There you go, you little bastard," Mario muttered aloud. "That'll teach you to mess with me."

Tired from the exertion of the fight, Mario paused for a moment to catch his breath and examine his wounds. There was some bleeding, but nothing too serious. He'd be okay until they got back to the surface. _Well then, I guess it's time to head back up._

Mario picked up the body of the defeated creature and began walking back along the path they'd been taking. He wondered how far ahead Luigi had gotten – the fight hadn't lasted that long, had it? Still, Luigi was a fast runner – it wouldn't be out of the question for him to have reached the surface already.

As Mario plodded along through the water, weighed down by the heavy body of the monster, he perceived the vague outline of a figure running toward him. Initially he thought it must have been one of the sanitation workers that Davis had previously sent, but as the figure drew closer, he could clearly distinguish the features of his brother.

"Luigi?" Mario called out. "I got it! I killed the monster!"

"Run, Mario!" Luigi shouted in reply. "Run!"

"What?" Mario asked, puzzled. "What is it?"

"There's more of them!"

As Luigi darted down the tunnel towards him, Mario could see the terror and panic on his brother's face. Clearly, he had encountered something even more fearsome than the creature Mario had just dispatched.

"The monsters – there must be about ten or twenty of them!" Luigi exclaimed. "They were blocking the entrance, right, and then they charged at me, and now… they're coming this way!"

Looking behind him, Mario saw a veritable army of the turtle creatures stampeding through the tunnels, their ferocious cries and the stomping of their feet echoing off the metal piping. A chill shot through Mario's system, and in an instant it became abundantly clear why the previous search teams had never returned to the surface.

"Oh, shit!" he shouted. "We gotta get outta here!"

Mario dropped the dead monster's body on the ground and set off at a breakneck pace down the tunnel, with Luigi following close behind him. Only one thought remained in his mind: to escape a gruesome death at the hands of the fierce beasts which haunted the New York sewers. In terror for their lives, the brothers ran down the great dark corridor - not realizing that this took them farther from the exit, and deeper into the sewer system.

The cries of the monsters grew to a cacophonic holler, and Mario looked back over his shoulder to see that the beasts were gaining on them. Suddenly an intense burst of light illuminated the room with a pale glow, and Mario looked down to see a green ball of fire shooting towards him along the surface of the water. He quickly raised his leg, moving out of the fireball's path, but he could still feel its scorching heat as it passed by. But where had it come from in the first place? Mario looked back again, and saw that one of the turtle-creatures seemed to be holding a ball of fire in its hands, entirely unharmed by the flames. _Just what kind of creatures were they dealing with?_

Behind him, Mario heard a loud crash, and he turned around to see that Luigi had slipped and fallen. Mario quickly reached for the strap of his brother's overalls and hauled him up to his feet, and the two set off running again. But there wasn't much time left – the monsters were nearly upon them, and the brothers knew they couldn't run forever.

Their hearts pounding, the brothers turned a corner, and found themselves facing a stone wall, with a large metal pipe sticking out of the bottom.

"Dammit!" Mario shouted, pounding his fist against the wall. "A dead end!"

The horde of turtle-things had relaxed their pace by now, seeing that their prey was cornered. Mario stood with his back against the wall, gritting his teeth as he prepared to face his death. He looked to his side to check that his brother was still with him – if they were going to die, at least they would die together.

To his alarm, Mario saw that Luigi wasn't there. What had happened – had his brother already been taken by the monsters? Mario looked around – the creatures were still moving towards him, but Luigi was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, Mario!" Mario heard his brother's voice, no louder than a whisper, coming from near the ground. "I'm in here, Mario!"

Mario looked down to see that Luigi had hidden inside of the pipe, somehow compressing his tall, lanky frame into the cramped space available.

"Luigi," said Mario, "I think this is the end. The monsters have got us… it's all over now!" Mario felt the creatures beginning to claw at his feet, but he held onto the rim of the pipe, not letting them drag him away. With an agonized yell, Mario beat his fists against the pipe. "Why did it have to end this way? Why?"

As the monsters began to bite at his shoulders, Mario closed his eyes and thought of Pauline. Seeing her in that red dress on the night they'd first met, her golden hair falling around her shoulders… if only things had turned out differently, he might have been at home with her right now, instead of dying in some filthy sewer. _If only… if only._

Suddenly Mario felt a powerful force tugging at the front of his body, and opened up one weary eye to see that Luigi had vanished from his sight. "Luigi?" he shouted, surprised. "Luigi? Where are you?"

Luigi gave no reply. Crawling forward on his hands and knees, Mario stuck his head inside the pipe, and the force tugging at him grew stronger. Looking around, he saw that the pipe bent and continued downward, seemingly with no end.

Unable to resist the mysterious force, Mario found himself yanked out of the monsters' grasp, and sent careening down the pipeline, floating just off of the ground. For a moment it seemed as if he would crash into the edge as he headed toward a sharp bend in the pipe, but he changed direction just in the nick of time and began moving downward.

_What is this?_ Mario thought. _What the hell is happening to me?_ As he shot downward, he realized that he had been delivered from the death that had seemed all too certain only moments ago. But still, he had no idea where he was going – would he join his brother soon? Had Luigi been pulled along this same course? Mario grew dizzy and his vision began to fade, as he fell ever more quickly – down into the darkness, down into the great unknown.

* * *

One week later

_It ain't gonna rain no more, no more, ain't gonna rain no more…_

Tom Davis whistled a tune to himself as he walked down the hallway of rundown apartment building where the Mario brothers lived. He braced himself as he knocked on the door, hoping that they hadn't suffered the same fate as the other search parties.

He waited a few minutes. No response.

That seemed to settle the matter. Over the past week he'd tried calling the brothers, and looked for them both at home and at their company's office. And everyone he'd talked to had said the same thing: since last Tuesday, there'd been no sign of them.

"Dammit," Davis muttered under his breath. "I'll just have to tell Ed we've lost another one."

* * *

BUT THE MARIO BROTHERS WILL RETURN IN:

_The Kingdom_

AN ADAPTATION OF _SUPER MARIO BROS._

COMING SOON

(FOR SUFFICIENTLY LARGE VALUES OF "SOON")


End file.
